Now that we are home

Goodness!  I see that the last time I posted anything; we had gotten back to the hotel with Sutton and were dealing with all kinds of emotions.  Our parents came to be with us on Monday.  It was great to see them and show off Sutton, but we were still somewhat guarded, waiting for 5:00 Tuesday night to arrive (when the birthparents rights would end).  It initially was set for Monday night, but we found out Monday afternoon that they actually had until Tuesday night (another bump in the roller coaster).   I had never been so relieved and full of joy as I was at 5:01 Tuesday night!  We prayed and thanked the Lord for how abundantly He had blessed us and carried us through this process, and our parents convinced us to go out to eat with them to celebrate!  That was the first time I had left the hotel in 5 days.  Thankfully, we were able to get into court Wednesday morning.  And then came home in time for Thanksgiving on Thursday.  I’ve never been as aware of the body of Christ as I was during this time.  Nor have I been this aware of God’s answers to my prayers.  We can testify that prayer is powerful.  That God hears our cries; He knows what we need before we even ask for it, and He is working it out for our good and His glory.  

Joyce Meyer said something a while back that has stuck with me.  She said that we are all like clay pots that have cracks in them.  If you are a follower of Christ, then His light is placed inside of you.  And the place where He shines the brightest is through your cracks or weaknesses.  If you try to hide or cover up your struggles (cracks), then He can’t shine as brightly through you.  That is so simple but so true.  We ALL have hardships and weaknesses.  If you aren’t currently going through a hard time, then you most likely just got out of one or are about to go through one.  That’s just how life is.  The great thing is that through our struggles, we are reminded of our need for God and can draw closer to Him.  And as we begin to pull off the duct tape that we tried to use to ‘repair’ the cracks in our pots, the light of Christ starts shining through us again.  The love of Christ is unfathomable.  He had us in the palm of His hand the entire time we were in Arkansas.  And He still does.  He will never let us go.  There is so much more that I would like to say, but don’t have the time right now.  God is good.  We are so thankful for everyone who has said a prayer for us, Sutton, and her birthparents.  I pray that God blesses you as much as He has blessed us.  I will try to continue to update the blog as I can.  It is nice to be able to look back and see how God has answered our prayers.  I guess that’s why they say that journaling is an important discipline.  Oftentimes we are quick to forget how God has faithfully carried us through a difficult time…it is in the remembering that our faith is strengthened for the next bump in the road. 

Sutton is doing great!!  I know I’m biased, but I think she is the most beautiful baby that I have ever seen!!!  Well, I guess I AM biased, because I also think that everything she does is soooo cute!   She was 6 weeks old yesterday; I can hardly believe it!!   Time needs to slow down!!!!  I was reading a book that I was given for Christmas, and it had a really neat quote in it.  It said, “Parenting is an infinite task with eternal consequences that must be done with finite resources on a limited timeline by imperfect people with virtually no experience who get little thanks, sleep or free time and comes with no second chances.”

I think that pretty much sums it up!  It also has information etc at andysavage.net encouraging parents to embrace and make the most of the 7000 days that they have with their child from the crib to college.  7000 days.  Wow!   God has entrusted us with much.  Sometimes I think the reason why we were supposed to adopt instead of have a child biologically is so that we would truly realize the gift that God has granted us.  I think if I had become pregnant, we might have thought that we had something to do with it.  And we definitely would not have had the privilege of seeing God so clearly at work in our lives.  We are so thankful to you Lord.  Your love amazes me. 

I hope that everyone has had a Happy Thanksgiving, a Very Merry Christmas, and that you will have the best year yet!

Bittersweet

These last couple days have been an absolute rollar coaster of emotions.  First of all, thank you for all of your prayers.  We cannot describe how your encouragement and prayers have impacted and sustained all of us.  Yesterday morning, we found out that the natural father, Junior, was having second thoughts about following through with the adoption and that the grandparents had possibly put some pressure on them to change their minds.  At that point, our attorney said to get all of our prayer warriors to start praying, and that's what you did.  And it showed.  We could feel it.  That afternoon, we went in to visit with them again and the first thing they both said to us was that "tomorrow morning you get to take her home".  And you continued to pray and God continued to answer.  We were able to bring Sutton to the hotel this afternoon when she was discharged.  What a gift!  It was bittersweet.  Leaving that room was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  Her birthparents are two of the most incredible people that I know.  Their names are Junior and Kenye (Ken-yea).  They have been together for 6 years and have 3 children together, ages 3,2,1.  Junior works at a chicken factory and Kenye takes care of the children.  They simply do not have the means to take care of another child, and so lovingly and painfully she signed papers on September 1st to put her up for adoption.  They showed us what love is today.  A love that is proud of their baby girl, that cares for her and lights up while holding her.  A love that desires for her to have the best life possible, which in their eyes is a life they would struggle to give to her.  A love that has chosen to put her and her needs before their own good, healthy desires.  We bawled our eyes out saying goodbye to them.  All of us were crying, nurses and attorney included.  They seem at peace and confident in their decision, but that doesn't make it any easier.  Please please pray for them today and in the days to come.  They deserve nothing but the best.  We don't know why God has chosen this path for Sutton.  But we do believe it is His doing and therefore in her best interest.  There have been too many 'coincidences' for it to be anything other than God.  While we are grateful and believe He has been incredibly gracious to us, our hearts still break for them.  We know that He is with them right now, comforting and healing.  He is good.  And He is in control.  And we are grateful.  We will probably be here until at least Tuesday.  The birthparents have until Monday night at 5:00 to change their minds.  And then after court, we can come home.  Please pray for peace, comfort, healing, and joy for them.  And that if they don't know Jesus as their Savior, that they will come to know Him through this experience.  Please.  Thank you dear Jesus, for hearing all of our prayers.  Thank you for knowing what is best for all of us.  And thank you for taking care of all of us.  You are the first One who showed us how to love.  And You are the One who puts that love inside of us.  Your love amazes me.  Thank you for all that you are doing for us.  We are grateful. 

Just a little update

Hi everyone!  I just wanted to let you know that the day after I posted the last post asking for prayers to be able to meet the birthmother, the attorney contacted us saying the birthmother wanted to meet us!!  Is God good or what!!!  So thank you for praying!  She wants to eat dinner with us Monday night before the C-section Tuesday.  I'm not sure if her other children or the birthfather will be there, but the birthmother, attorney, and translator will be there.  She apparently speaks Marshaleese, so that's why there will be a translator.  So, now we are planning to drive to Memphis tomorrow afternoon, stay the night with Taylor's parents, and get up Monday morning to drive the rest of the way.  I think it's a total of about 8 1/2 to 9 hours from here.  We've been told that Fayetteville is absolutely beautiful, so that's just a bonus!  Again, we are thankful, more than you will ever know, for your prayers and ask that you continue to pray that everything goes as God has planned.  It's our last night here as just a couple...think we're gonna watch the UT-Arkansas game and order pizza!  Perfect! :-)

Start the Countdown!!

Well, it's getting close!!  I think we're about as ready as we can be! :-) Originally we were told that her due date was the 9th, but I'm thinking they may have miscalculated it.  The attorney called last week to tell us that the birthmother's previous children were born via C-section, so they have scheduled a C-section for November 15th.  As of right now, we are planning to drive to Arkansas on Monday the 14th to be there for the delivery, unless she calls before then to say that she has gone into labor.  The car is packed, we're getting sitters lined up for our 4-legged child, Max, and counting down the days. :-) We are so excited and can't wait to meet our precious child!!  We were told to plan on being there around 10 days.  In the state of Arkansas, the birthmother has 5 days where she can change her mind, and if the 5th day falls on a weekend, then she will have until the following Monday.  Once the 5 days are up, we will get a court date and then be free to head back home!!  So needless to say, we are overwhelmingly grateful for your prayers and ask that you would continue to pray for health and safety of both the birthmother and baby, for the birthmother to be at peace and confident in her decision to follow through with the adoption, that she heals quickly, and that we would be able to meet the birthmother and develop a relationship with her.  I genuinely want to know this woman who is performing one of the most incredible acts of love that I can imagine, and I want to thank her and encourage her.  For that alone, she is amazing, and I will forever pray for her.  So thank you for your prayers.  To steal a quote from my Aunt Janie, "God is listening." :-)  We'll keep you posted!

Bible Study Week 6

Session 6

God is Gracious

Grace is favor, benefit, free and unearned.  It is available because God is gracious.  It is power.  And it is PREVIOUS to your sin!

I John 5, II Samuel 13, Psalm 84:11, John 1:14, I John 1:9, II Corinthians 12:7-10, Ephesians 1:3, Galatians 1, I Corinthians 15:10, Isaiah 40 and 41, Numbers 32:23

When you sin, you are at a crossroads...what will you do next?  God knows your heart, and He knew David’s heart.  David wasn’t perfect…actually, by our standards today…he probably wouldn’t be viewed too highly… an adulterer, murderer, and proud king.  But, God knew his heart.  And it was his heart that grieved his sins and desired to change his ways and follow God wholeheartedly.  It was his heart that God loved so dearly.  God forgave and restored him, but he still had to face the ugly consequences of his sins. 

“If you will quit moaning and groaning about your past, God will use it.  If you will share it openly with others, He will minister to them through it.”

Navigating Crossroads

“Despite David’s sin, he was able to fulfill God’s purpose in his generation.  What lessons can we learn so that we go deeper still with God rather than self-destruct because of failure?”

II Samuel 13 shows God’s judgment of David’s sins, which was stated in II Samuel 12:10-11

Persevering Through Discipline

II Samuel 12:11-12 – “Absalom, David’s son, slept with his father’s wives by erecting a tent on the housetop from which David watched Bathsheba, in the sight of all Israel.”

“David persevered his discipline without becoming bitter”

God’s character – Hebrews 12:5-15

Swayed by the Deceiver

II Samuel 24:10-17 – David became prideful and ordered a census to be taken.  “In determining his military strength, he was beginning to trust more in military power than in God.  David wisely chose the form of punishment that came most directly from God.  He knew how brutal and harsh men in war could be, and he also knew God’s great mercy.”

II Samuel 24:18-25 – note where the threshing floor is- what city?

His Crossroad of Grace

“When David sinned, you saw his respect for the character of God.  David honored God’s holiness by never murmuring or disputing God’s discipline.”

This is REALLY amazing… look at II Samuel 12:23-25 – when was Solomon conceived?  Now, read I Chronicles 20:1-8 and 21:1, 28-30.  What was the sequence of events? (Bathsheba, battles, census, threshing floor).  Read I Chronicles 22:1-13.  NOW.. when was David told that his son Solomon would build the temple of the Lord? (II Samuel 7:12-16).  David was told about Solomon in chapter 7, before he even laid eyes on Bathsheba (chapter 11).  David was told Solomon’s name in chapter 12.  That is absolutely amazing to me!   

“Before David ever sinned with Bathsheba, God knew what would happen.  Just as before God ever created the world, God knew Adam and Eve would sin.  Where sin abounded, grace abounded even more.  So shall we sin that more grace might come?  God forbid!  Grace is not license to sin; rather, it is power not to sin and love that covers it when we do.”

Even more, where did Solomon build the Temple for the Lord?  On Mount Moriah – where God appeared to David during the plague punishment for David’s prideful census; on Araunah’s threshing floor bought by David. (II Chronicles 3:1) 

“If you understand the Bible, you understand that the temple mount, where the temple of Solomon was built, belongs to the Israelites, the Jews – not the Muslims.  It was purchased by David the king in the city of the king, Jerusalem.  This is a biblical worldview on this issue.”

Celebrating God’s Grace

I Chronicles 28 and 29 – Sin was not the end of David’s service to the Lord.  With God’s grace, he moved past his sins, and found joy and purpose for his life.  

“David’s zeal, his passion to serve God, did not wane with age or failure.”  He remained to be a man after God’s own heart.

“Then David said to his son Solomon, ‘Be strong and courageous, and act; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord God, my God, is with you.  He will not fail you nor forsake you until all the work for the service of the house of the Lord is finished.” – I Chronicles 28:20

After 6 weeks of studying David, what characteristics did David possess that caused God to say that he was a man after His own heart?   Can you see God, who He truly is, more clearly?  Have you drawn nearer to Him?

“But God removed him (Saul) from the kingship and replaced him with David, a man about whom God said, ‘David son of Jesse is a man after my own heart, for he will do everything I want him to’” (Acts 13:22)

Bible Study Week 5

Session 5

Sin is Deadly

II Samuel 11 – “David had many crossroads…opportunities to stop in his tracks and start doing the right thing, but he didn’t.  You might be able to hide your sins from men, but you will never be able to hide your sins from God.”

James 4:17, I John 3:4, I John 5:17, Romans 14:23, Hebrews 11:1, 11:6, I Corinthians 10:13, Numbers 32:23, Galatians 5:16

“Sin will take you farther than you ever intended to go and cost you more than you ever expected to pay.”

Costly Crossroads

“In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army”     -II Samuel 11:1

David was at the pinnacle of power and prestige.  His success, triumphs, and achievements started to go to his head, and he thought he no longer needed to do what was required of him.  His first crossroad resulted in him staying home when he should have been out fighting with his men.

“Think about the ramifications of your decisions.  First, are you going against any precept in God’s word?  Second, what will be the outcome of your choice?  What will it say about your relationship to God?  About you as a person?”

Narrow Paths and Broad Roads

“So David sent and inquired about the woman.  And one said, ‘Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?”       -II Samuel 11:3

“These details sound rather unnecessary to the story, a little ho-hum.  I am with you!  On the surface they do, until we remember God doesn’t waste words.  Psalm 12:6 tells us every word of God is pure; it came from God’s mouth (Deut 8:3) and serves a purpose.”

Read II Samuel 11 and see how many crossroads David came across…how many opportunities did God give him to stop walking down a sinful path and start doing the right thing.

Bathsheba was “the granddaughter of David’s advisor, the wife of one of David’s valiant men.  Those relationships alone should have stopped David in his tracks”.  But they didn’t.

II Timothy 2:22, Job 31:9-12, Proverbs 28:13, I John 1:9, Psalm 139:15

David chose to try to cover up his sin and continue to walk deeper and deeper into a sinful trap.

“It’s sad to learn these difficult things about a man who was described as a man after God’s own heart.  Surely God had washed His holy hands of David.  There would never be another time of dancing with the wind in the triumph of joy.  Or at least that is what you might think if you don’t know God very well.  Know this: if you are not dead, no matter what you have done, God is not finished with you!”

Unrepentant Sinner and God’s Storyteller

“For whom the Lord loves, He disciplines.”     -Hebrews 12:6

II Samuel 12:1-7 – Nathan feared God more than the king

“Isn’t it amazing how we can become so indignant over someone else’s sin and miss our own?  Or have you noticed that many times when people sin and don’t deal with it but instead cover it up, they are quick to anger and to attack others?”

“A holy and just God cannot let sin go unpunished.”  If He did, He would no longer be holy and just. 

God’s Unchanging Character

“The child also that is born to you shall surely die.”    - II Samuel 12:14

“David knew that while God is holy and just, He is also full of loving-kindness, compassion, and mercy.  Don’t miss this insight because I believe it was David’s knowledge of God that sustained him as he harvested his sin and as he was chastened by His God- and rightly so.”

Psalm 51- David’s repentance

“Does God’s character change when we sin against Him?  The sins of others that are ‘against us’ can turn us inside out.  Consequently, we unravel, burst at the seams, and don’t behave as we should.  But that does not happen to God, and this is what you and I need to remember:  God is always approachable.”

Grace to Go Deeper Still

“Against You, You only, I have sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified when You speak and blameless when You judge.”    - Psalm 51:4

Reread Psalm 51

“Contrite means physically and emotionally crushed because of an enemy or because of sin.”

“Don’t ever make the awful mistake of projecting human feelings and responses onto God.  When we do, we get a false God, a false Christ, a false Spirit, and we become distorted in our thinking.”

II Samuel 12:24-25-- what happened after David’s son died 

IT'S A GIRL!!!!

Boy, have we got a story to tell!!!!  WE GOT MATCHED TODAY!!!!  It's a BABY GIRL due on November 9th in Fayetteville, Arkansas!!!!  Allow me to hit rewind for a second.....   At the end of July, Taylor and I finally came to the decision that we were going to pursue adoption.  It was such a relief to know that this was the road that we were going to take.  So we met with Miriam's Promise about doing a home study on August 11th.  We turned in our home study on August 29th.  Allison, the social worker came to visit the house on September 20th.  We witnessed the incredibleness of God through our garage sale on September 30th and October 1st.  And then we were just waiting from Miriam's Promise to say our home study was completed so we could move forward. (Side note... A couple months back I got floated at work and worked with a girl who was trying to adopt through an attorney in Arkansas.  I didn't think too much about it, other than the fact that we might research the attorney at some point.  Meg, another friend I work with, had just adopted through an agency in Utah and got a beautiful little girl.  And she was helping us out with everything).  Fast forward to this past Thursday.  I went to work and Jody, the girl who was adopting from Arkansas (who by this time had adopted a beautiful little girl from Arkansas and was now back at work) was floated to our unit and worked with me.  Something that doesn't happen alot.  Coincidence???  Not at all!!!  Especially because she only had 3 more days to work at Centennial because she wants to work closer to home.  She asked me if we had filled out the info sheet for the Arkansas attorney, and I said we hadn't because our home study wasn't complete.  She texted the attorney and said to go on and fill it out to get on her list; it didn't matter that the home study wasn't completed.  That night Taylor and I talked about it and thought 'what could it hurt.'  So we filled it out and Taylor faxed it to the attorney that next day, which was this past Friday, October 14th.  On Monday, we got word that our home study was complete.  On Tuesday, the attorney called me at work and said she wanted to "warn me" that she thought she would have a match for us in a few days to a few weeks so we needed to get our money and everything lined up!!  And then a friend of mine, Carrie, who was putting together an adoption profile for us finished the profile that night!!!  AND IT WAS INCREDIBLE!!!  (If you ever need a graphic designer, she's the one!!!  She selflessly spent her time putting it together for us.  Such a gift!)  Of course, I couldn't sleep much Tuesday night and woke up at 4:00 Wednesday morning.  I tried to be quiet and let Taylor sleep...so I layed there for an hour and then got up at 5:00 because I couldn't take it any longer.  So I did the most rational thing possible...I went down to the garage to finish staining 3 rocking chairs that our friends had given us!  That's what everyone does at 5:00 in the morning right?  Then I got back in bed around 6:30 waiting for Taylor to wake up.  Once he was up I turned the lights on and started my day!!  I met mom and we ran a bunch of baby errands!  And we FedEx'd the adoption profile to the attorney.  It was so fun!!!  Then, TODAY at work....we got the call from the attorney that we were matched with a baby girl to be born in 3 weeks.  She said to pack our bags and be ready because she will call whenever the birthmother goes into labor, and we will need to jump in the car and head that way!!!!!!!!  How incredible!!!  The neat thing is that the birthmother contacted the attorney on September 1st wishing to put her baby up for adoption.  And the attorney said she was just waiting because she didn't believe the adoptive parents had contacted her yet.  Keep in mind...she is due in 3 weeks and the attorney said she wasn't anxious at all to try to find a match for her.  She knew God would tell her when the match had come.  And when we sent our information to her on Friday, she knew it was us!!  She doesn't make a list and go by first come, first serve.  She tries to listen to God and match accordingly.  Amazing!!  So, now we are just waiting for the phone call to head to Arkansas!!!  We can't wait!!!!!  She said our baby is from the Marshall Islands.  There is a big community in Arkansas of people who have migrated from the Marshall Islands.  The attorney said that those birthmothers are incredible mothers.  That they get prenatal care, don't smoke, drink, or do drugs (another answer to prayer!).  And they believe that babies are a gift from God, and if they already have children or simply can't take care of the child, then they will give the baby to someone who can't have children.  How loving!  Once again, God is proving that He is in control...and there couldn't be anything better than that.  He is so good and has blessed us beyond what we could ever imagine.  Thank you Lord.  Please continue to pray for the health of our sweet little baby girl and for the health and well-being of her birthmother, and that there would be no complications with the delivery.  We are so excited!  And so thankful for all of you who have prayed for us and our baby and have supported us.  God is so good!!!!!!